I always said that i'd at least try to breastfeed for a year, but after a few months of nursing, i realized that Rowan was going to be the type of kid who would wean when he was good and ready. And that I was the type of mother that was not going to force the issue.
He calls it "huckies". It started out as gookies, but has evolved to huckies over the last few months. He likes his huckies when he wakes up in the night, and he likes it when he wakes up first thing in the morning. And if we are not busying ourselves during the day, we'll sit down a few times and cuddle and nurse.
While my milk is no longer his main source of nutrition, it does continue to fill the nutritional gap that is left by his average toddler diet. He eats a lot of fruit and raw vegetables, and enjoys yogurt, cheese, and chicken. So I am sure he would be perfectly healthy without my milk. But that extra bit of insurance on his health and wellbeing is priceless to me. There are a lot of myths about breastfeeding a toddler. The most popular one is that breastmilk loses it's nutrition as the child ages. This is - simply put - NOT TRUE! This is a pretty good graphic to show what 448mls (which is a little over 15 oz) of breastmilk provides for a child in their second year of life.
via Dailymomtra.com
But aside from it's nutritional benefits, there is also the fact that nursing is a huge comfort for him. When he's injured. When he's sad. When he is not feeling well. When he feels insecure or worried or just icky. And it makes me slow down and pay closer attention to his needs at that very moment. A few months back, he fell and cracked his head on our tiled kitchen floor. The trip to the emergency room was made a whole lot easier by the fact that I could comfort him in away that no other could.
It's not always a wonderful thing, though. There are times when I just don't want to be touched. Before I as a mother, I had never heard of the term "touched out", but I know it well now. Sometimes I soldier through. Others, I have to tell him to go and play in his room, or cuddle his dad, or I have to offer other ways for us to be together. Being a breastfeeding mother doesn't make me perfect, that's for sure!
Of course, I realize that the time is nearing when he will wean himself. I'm also prepared for the fact that he might keep going for another two years. Both scenarios are ok with me. Infant and toddlerhood are both such fleeting moments in the grand scheme of things, and while I adore the little kid he is now, there's always that moment when we lay down to nurse when I get a glimpse of my tiny baby. And that is absolutely something to cherish.
